Why do I change so often?

I have been asked this ever so much that why after every few years, maybe even months, I change what I do and what I convey. I want to answer this one in this blog since I find myself writing after a very long time.

I change because change is what happens to me or you everyday anyway. I just align myself to the new that I am becoming. Authentic inner change is hardly in alignment with anyone's expectations, from others or from self. If it were possible to control change, we would stop aging for that is a change thats happening, we wouldn't get sick, we wouldn't fall out of love, we wouldn't hate, we wouldn't feel lost and our today will be as consistent with yesterday as it is with tomorrow. However, if that were the case, would we feel alive anymore?

We all change at a mind, body and spirit level everyday. Its just that I allow myself that change so deeply that it changes who I am, what I feel, how I perceive things, what I do and don't do and each time such a change happens, I feel closer to my true authentic self. Everyone can do this but most of us don't allow change to affect us at that level where our work changes, our personality changes, our values change and our tribe changes as well.

There is safety in the known. There is comfort in knowing I am an Engineer or a Doctor or a Healer. There is safety in knowing what I will be earning each month, if I will be able to buy my dream house 5 years down the line, if my wife will be next to me if I fall ill. Its true, it feels safe and that is human. Its just that somehow I have been able to allow myself to be vulnerable in these aspects. It is scary, I sometimes struggle, I sometimes wonder if safety was a better choice, sometimes I feel lost like a lone fish in a vast ocean, but then, something just says "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming" and I do just that. After a while the fears subside and I know that some invisible force inside me is taking care of me. I'll be fine. The ocean seems friendly. The change has become me. I have become it and I swim till the next big wave does that all over again.

Eventually whats happening is, I have started enjoying the unknown. At times I do fear it but then I overcome it. I am becoming grounded in the fact that nothing is ever certain. Thats the truth. Certainity is what our mind makes us believe in, to make it a tad bit easier to live in the unknown. However, the truth also is, the more certain you are of yourself and who you are, the less ocean you get to explore, the less joy you can live for joy is nothing but the realisation that only this moment is true and certain so swim, jump, dance, rejoice whatever this moment offers! There maynot be another. This might be the last. This is it.